I stumbled upon a reality show called House of DvF. Although it’s not a show I would typically watch, I became fascinated with the plot, because it provided an opportunity to learn about human behavior. The show is about nine women vying for the coveted job and title of DvF Ambassador!
After a couple of tasks in which participants were evaluated, the elimination process began. One participant gets eliminated each episode. The weakest participants have to convince the CEO of DvF why they shouldn’t be dropped from the show. This, to me, is the interesting part of the show.
Some of the women talked about their difficult upbringing as the driving force for their determination to succeed. Because they have had such tough life experiences, they would do their best to be chosen as the ambassador of DvF. But then I noticed that this reasoning became a theme for some of the women. Understandably, these women come from tough neighborhoods and had difficult life experiences coming from a low income household. And for them to join a high stress and a high class competition, it must be more stressful. These women had to work twice as hard as those who come from middle class household.
I notice that one woman in particular, however, had a bad attitude. She was literally isolating herself with her mean attitude and behavior. In other words, she was sabotaging herself and her success. Her behavior may have been a result of her upbringing and the need to be tough and aggressive sometimes—especially in an environment where she was already at a disadvantage—In the end, however, what she was doing was the same: self-sabotage.
I can probably relate to her difficult life experience in trying to survive in a very unequal social environment. I had to work twice as hard just to reach a certain level of success. And even now, some people still don’t see me as equal. But that’s for another blog. One thing I have in common with the woman was that, for a long time, I also sabotaged my success.
It’s the ego and the need to protect the ego, either by being aggressive and tough to defend such a fragile ego, or to escape from the pain, or by placating those who determine my fate so I can minimize the impact. But I eventually stopped. Because I started to focus on my goals, and was determined to do whatever it takes to reach that goal. Sometimes I have to swallow my pride. Sometimes I have to back down from a confrontation, if in the long run it means that I can continue pursuing and, eventually, reaching my goals.
Unlike the woman in the House of DvF who did not want to be disrespected, put down, and taken advantaged of. I was willing to swallow my pride, ego, and self-respect for a moment, if it meant a chance to continue pursuing my goals. I looked at the big picture and understood that a time for reckoning will come—a time for pay back. At certain moments in the past, I let the offenders insult me. If in the end it means that I will get my job, save up the money to purchase happiness and wealth, or provide for my kids who will eventually become educated, then I let them do it. If it means that, eventually, I will have the social and economic status to have better leverage to respond to those who disrespect and disadvantage me, then I will be patient. I will be determined not to self-sabotage.
Hi. I'm Kent and this is my blog. Let me know what you think.