I got married on Sunday, June 5, 2016. It was one of the most important days of my life. I was so happy to marry my best friend and life partner, Mary Grace.
The wedding was well-planned, thanks to my wife. She worked so hard to ensure that we have a flawless wedding. I am so thankful for everything she did.
Although our guests showered us with compliment and positive feedback about the event, however, I cannot help but think critically about the small things that did not go well: my thank you speech, the pictures we didn't take with other guests, and on and on. I have been pummeling my self-esteem with self-criticism and self-blaming, and self-hate. I would remember little incidents at the wedding and, out of nowhere, I would engage in self-depreciation. Why am I like this? Why am I so hard on myself? I know why, but I don't know why.
I keep saying that Mary Grace and I had a great wedding, but I'm still attacking myself for the small things that didn't go perfectly. I am a perfectionist and hard on myself. At the same time, I know that, at the end of the day, I cannot change what already happened. This is torture, you know.
When will I ever learn to let go and accept the reality of my imperfection? I would be a lot happier when that day comes.
Hi. I'm Kent and this is my blog. Let me know what you think.