I struggled with self-confidence for most of my life; therefore having confidence is very important to me.
Self-confidence is a prerequisite to a fulfilling life. If I am confident, I am in control of my life. I am happy.
Lately, I heard something that went against my belief. This new idea shook the very foundation of my understanding about self-confidence. Basically, self-confidence is bull.
Debbie Millman, artist, writer, branding extraordinaire, said: "Confidence is overrated... [and] confident people are kind of annoying." I was kind of annoyed at first, but Debbie Millman is trustworthy and she was being interviewed by Tim Ferriss. Debbie's biography blew me away. Her career credentials and life experience is incredible. Here is what she said that blew me away: more important and relevant than self-confidence is... courage.
Courage as a quality more important than self-confidence. I've never heard this before. It goes against what I have been working hard to gain more of. It is worth investigating.
In the eBook that I published on Amazon, I emphasized the difference between self-esteem and self-confidence. I mentioned that some people can act confident as a defense mechanism, but one cannot fake self-esteem, a person's core belief about herself. I then argued that by building one's self-esteem one can have genuine and lasting self-confidence. My question is how can a person with low self-esteem have the courage to take risk in the first place?
Debbie said that when your situation is uncertain or unknown, you must have the courage to jump, or dive into the unknown. So while self-confidence is a trust in yourself when the outcomes are predictable, courage is trust in yourself even when the outcome is unpredictable. Courage, therefore, is actually self-esteem in disguise. It is what you need to gain self-confidence.
Neel Burton, a fellow of Green-Templeton College at Oxford, said, "People with healthy self-esteem are able to take risks and to give their all to a project or ambition, because, although failure may hurt or upset them, it is not going to damage or diminish them." Self-esteem is courage and "in the absence of self-confidence, courage take over" (Burton)
Self-esteem is important. Improve your core belief and you will have the courage to venture into the unknown. And venturing might just be what you need to gain self-confidence.
Hi. I'm Kent and this is my blog. Let me know what you think.